Secret Training Act
The purpose of this act is to prevent Nunawading Triathlon Club (NunaTriClub) members getting an unknown and/or unfair advantage on race day.
It is also to prevent factions and rebel training sessions forming within the Club.
Any NunaTriCLub member who performs any form of training not within the clubs designated sessions as per the NunaTriClub Training page, and not posting the designated session on the club Facebook page is secretly training. All postings must be within a reasonable timeframe that allows other members to join the said activity. Posts immediately prior to the said training are just boasting and will be treated with the contempt they deserve (and a hatful of points).
- 2.1 Secret – Not known or seen or not meant to be known or seen by others: “a secret plan”.
- 2.2 Training – Any act of exercise which raises the HR to over 100bpm.
- 2.3 STP - Secret Training Police.
3.0 Penalty Points
- 3.1 Deduction of 4 points for anyone caught secret training.
- 3.2 Deduction of 2 points may be awarded under special conditions or discretion clause.
- 3.3 Deduction of 8 points may be awarded under discretion clause or anyone attempting to appeal a decision.
- 3.4 Any member that appears to have “played a blinder” at any event may be deemed to have secret trained in the lead up. Penalty points at the discretion of the STP.
- 4.1 Rehab Clause - Exercise coming back from injury is not secret training. Six week grace period is granted. If more time is required, a Dr Certificate needs to be sighted (a Dr Google certificate is not acceptable).
- 4.2 Patrol Clause - Marc Wrobel is an authorised Patrol Officer of the STP Commission and therefore does not fall under this Act. He can be out there doing whatever the hell he wants, when he wants. This also applies to his loyal STP deputies.
- 4.3 Distance Clause - If a member resides greater than 50km from the Nunawading Pool the member cannot be persecuted under this Act.
- 4.4 Taper Clause - Training one (1) week before a long course triathlon, Half IRONMAN (70.3) is not considered secret training. Training within two (2) weeks of an IRONMAN or similar length triathlon is not considered secret training.
- 4.5 The Inspiration Clause - Any member that is seen training within five (5) metres of their children will not be penalised. We need to encourage the next generation and show them by being triathletes we are also sporting gods. This clause is negated if it is 5am and the child is obviously a) asleep or b) pissed off you’ve dragged them out of bed just so you can go for a run or c) you are riding their bike while they’re running.
- 4.6 The Commuting Clause - This highly abused clause has been deleted due to excessively long commutes at elevated HRs... Simply share your journeys and embrace the said commute with your fellow members!
- 4.7 Discretion Clause - This clause has been put in place to allow Marc Wrobel to persecute under any conditions he sees fit. Discretion clause also allows the authorised officer the ability to credit points for testimony that can lead to a better outcome as judged by the said authorising officer of the day.
5.0 Reduction of Penalty
If a member has been pinged secret training by a loyal and law abiding member, they may get a reduction in penalty points by one of the following methods:
- 5.1 Wearing Nuna team kit when caught will reduce the penalty by 50%.
- 5.2 Dobbing on a fellow secret trainer will reduce the penalty by 25%... However if the finger pointing cannot be verified, the penalty may be increased by 25%.
- 5.3 An early guilty plea may reduce the penalty by 50%.
Appeals will not be heard under any circumstances... This is not a democracy!